The most Beauooootiful Fan in the World…

Did you ever see this man? We cannot show you the real Simono, who was touted around SwanCons early in the current millenium as being the most Beauoootiful Fan in the World, but we can show you…

Life size cardboard cutout of man sitting in semi-reclined position.
A life size cardboard cut out of Simono!

The character of Simono is believed to have originated in a Raw Cordial (late night comedy panel) recorded skit that stressed the importance of the 5:2:1 rule (numbers may vary from original statement) – that con goers should aim for a minimum of five hours sleep, 2 decent meals, and one shower per 24 hour period. Details of other Simono skits would be greatly appreciated.

While other Raw cordial skits have been released to the world on the Raw Cordial Youtube Channel, we are saddened to find that no recordings of Simono are found there.

Simono was the Fictional Guest of Swancon XXX, held at the Emerald Hotel (subsequently renamed ‘The Marque’) at Easter in 2005. Previous to that, for SwanCon 28 (held at the Kings Hotel in Hay Street, 2003), two lifesize cardboard cutouts were produced, one the partially reclining one shown above, and the other, as seen below next to a whiteboard recording ephemera of the convention.* They were produced by Chris Creagh, with the assistance of her minions, from photographs taken by her at a photoshoot at Murdoch University leading up to that convention.

Life size cardboard cut out (standing) next to highly decorated whiteboard
Simono standee in con foyer

Both cardboard cutouts were auctioned at the closing ceremony of SwanCon 28, but we are not aware of their current location.

In addition to the cardboard cut outs, a limited edition t-shirt was produced, probably for SwanCon XXX. These were white cotton, with a coloured mock-photograph (portrait orientation) printed on the front, possibly produced by Sarah Xu. The image showed Simono aboard a sailing ship, with the title “Love in Ze Time of Scurvy”. A photo print of the original photoshopped** image was auctioned at a later SwanCon for a considerable amount. Copies of the T-shirt are known to be in the possession of Sean Williams, and Anna Hepworth.

Anyone with an image of this t-shirt, preferably with them wearing it, is encouraged to add this to to the ASFDAP flickr group, and to point readers in its direction. If you have one of these t-shirts, please bring it (or organise for it to go without you) to SwanCon in 2012, so that a group photograph can be taken. Please comment here to indicate your interest in this, so that we can contact you at the convention.

* Anyone with details about the contents of the whiteboard, we would would love to hear from you.
** or similiar photo manipulation package

The photographs used in this post were taken by Chris Creagh at SwanCon 28 and have been made available to us with permission.


  1. If memory serves, the reclining cardboard cutout lived at Boronia (a Nedlands share-house) for a year or two, although I have no idea where it ended up after that.

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