Swancon 14 – Progress report 3 – pages 3 and 4

Page 3 and 4 are blurbs about the committee.

The Most Wanted List

In every society, there are those who, through no fault of their own, rise to positions of prominence and power. Rarely do they seek high office, and even more rarely do they attain it. Instead, they wind up on convention committees. Swancon 14 is privileged to have a rare combination of talents embodied in those who compose its committee: teachers; film editors; accountants; tap-dancers; professional assassin; frog-stranglers; people who own Swiss Army knives; the list of their many accomplishments goes on and on. Allow me to introduce you to them (of course, if you already know them, this is all redundant; go away and do something else while this is going on; make chicken soup, or something).

Cindy used to be an Evans, until she got tired of all those Welsh jokes and accepted the proposal of Matthew Clarkson, who promised to make an honest woman of her. Cindy married him in spite of this, and interrupted her preparation for the convention long enough to have a rather delightful wedding. Since Matthew is an ex-chairperson, I feel that a certain dynastic ambition may have entered into the match, and that we can look forward to Clarksons chairing conventions well into the twenty-first century. Apart from this, Cindy is eminently huggable, and will appreciate one from you, if you are at all likeable. Her hard work and capacity for doing all the things that everybody else forgets about will make her either a very successful convention organiser or a raving loony by the end of the convention. be nice to her; she’s had a hard day.

Sceptical, tight-fisted, cynical, suspicious, parsimonious; Wing is all the things a good convention treasurer should be. He somehow manages to disguise his better qualities behind a mask of self-effacement and bonhomie. There are even those who suspect that this is his real self, but I cannot bring myself to believe this. He also play a damn good guitar.

Terry is a very laid-back person; at times you have to look closely to ensure that he is still breathing. Totally and utterly unflappable by anything short of nuclear warfare, he provides a cool and stable presence at meetings and other times. Look for him at the convention; he’ll be the one reclining.

After the history of success which Greg has had in organising hotel bookings for conventions, he decided the time was ripe for passing on the flame to a younger person, one who could carry on the tradition of Greg’s efforts in the past. To this end, he decided to take Vanessa under his wing and teach her all he knows about organising hotel bookings for conventions. Fortunately, she decided to ignore him. Greg is the person who is large and friendly, and a darn sight fitter than the majority of fans. If it is your misfortune to wind up with the wrong room, at the wrong hotel, for the wrong days, it may well not be Greg’s fault, this time. Greg drinks and socialises at all hours of the day and night, and will and will wake you up when you have a hangover. If he does, realise that it is only his way of being friendly, and try to repay the compliment.

Daryl is in charge of fundraising. He will try to part you from your money. He has already done this successfully for many people. He gives the money to Wing, who guards it from harm. He wants your money. All of it. He is a nice person, but he wants your money. Give it to him; it will save time and trouble. He’ll get it in the end.

I have known Grant Stone for practically as long as I have been involved in fandom. At first I thought he was a relly nice raving loony. I still think he is really nice, but there has, over the years, emerged a method from the apparent madness. Grant has probably, in his quiet way (Quiet! Who am I trying to kid?), done more for SF in Perth than any other person, through his radio programmes, his collection of SF magazines, fanzines and journals at Murdoch University, and his constant support of fandom. Grant is in charge of the Awards, and I can think of no better person for the job, since his knowledge of the field is formidable. He also has a sense of humour sufficiently warped to get from here to Aldebaran in twenty minutes.

(Here endeth page 3.)

John is a fairly recent addition to the ranks, and I have had the privilege of knowing him since I was a teacher at Christ Church Grammar School, in 1985. He would wander around the school, starry eyed and innocent, a book in his hand, dreaming of the world to come. A far cry from the Drag Queen he portrayed, with consummate skill, at the last Swancon. I dunno; maybe it’s the effect of an all male school. He has, however, entered into the spirit of the convention publicity officer’s job with an energy and enthusiasm which is, at times, quite overwhelming, particularly for jaded old conventions groupies like moi. It is a Very Good Thing to have people like John around; fandom needs a constant supply of fresh m – I mean, new enthusiasts.

Liz is helping out with publications, and all sorts of other things, as well. She is neat, petite, about to be married, and does a wonderful impersonation of Mr. Gumby.

For the all-singing, all-dancing Gina show, you MUST attend the convention. Gina is an ex-member of Slippery Jim and the Ratettes, has a voice best described as loud, and a vivacity sufficient to keep an average Russian city warm throughout the winter. How you would actually get Gina to keep you warm throughout the winter I do not know, but I wish you luck in your explorations. She is voluptuous, warm and delightful, and she already has a boyfriend.

That’s me. I’m in charge of programming the convention, which is somewhat like trying to juggle live piranha while figure skating blindfolded over an obstacle course. Fortunately, I’ve done it before. I only lost three fingers as fish food and two toes to frostbite, so I figure I still have something to give. Despite runours to the contrary, I do not devour live babies for breakfast, nor do I spend most of my time singing “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot” whilst lying inebriated in the gutter. Many of the things you may have heard of me are untrue, especially the one about the strawberry jam. It was only the two of us. I look forward to seeing everyone at the convention, and, by the end of it, I probably will have. Room parties, cocktail parties, dinners, lunches, games, all sortsa stuff; it’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it.

The Guests

Winner of both Hugo and Nebula Awards, author of the “Titan” Series, “Milennium'” “The Ophiuchi Hotline,” “The Barbie Murders,” “The Persistence of Vision,” and lots of others. A person of immense reputation in the SF field, we are privileged to have him as Professional Guest of Honour.

Antifan. A myth figure in Australian fandom. Presenter of the Golden Caterpillars. A speaker of note and wit. A mighty edifice of knowledge, expertise and wisdom, and a helluva nice guy. Since he’s moved to Perth, we seized upon the opportunity to have him as Fan Guest of Honour. Just goes to show you; you can be lucky

Toastmaster and raconteur extraordinaire. Bob has authored many famous SF books, and is famed for his “Serious Science” talks at conventions, one of which we will be privileged to hear. If you get a chance, ask him his recipe for Irish Coffee.

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