SwanCon 22 – PR1 – “Fan Guest of Honour: David Cake”

Being a semi-faithful transcription of page 7 of the SwanCon 22 – Festival of the Imagination 1997 – Progress Report 1. This page is formatted in two columns, with the pull quote “There is no one who has a gr eater [sic] knowledge of the inner workings of the Lunar Cults or of the inhabitants of those r olling [sic] plains of Prax.” in the middle of the page.

At the bottom of the page is a small rectangle surrounding the words: “The cover art is a reduced photocopy of a blown up scanning of an actual specimen of Howard’s signature”. Right then.

Fan Guest of Honour

David Cake

It has been ut to me that there are too many persons called David in this world. They litter streets and clutter up the public spaces. A movement is afoot to organise a cull of the species, to improve the qualty of the herd, for their own good, you understand. If this were to become law there is one David I would demand be excluded from the general slaughter and that man is David Cake.

For instance this is a man who has actually touched Greg Stafford and spoken with Sandy Peterson, those Gods of Runequest. He has been imbued with their spirit and become a kind of St Paul in the role playing world. There is no one who has a greater knowledge of the inner workings of the Lunar Cults or of the inhabitatns of those rolling plains of Prax. For this alone he should be preserved.

For most people such an encyclopaedic knowledge of Runequest would be enough but this is only the beginning of David’s talents. He has read approximately a billion science fiction and fantasy books. He has even returned his library books to UniSFA. This makes him an exceptional man.

His crowning achievement, however, was to allow 20 noisy people to invade his home every Wednesday night for 6 whole months, plunging his living room into utter darkness, to watch ever episode of Blake’s 7 ever made (some twice). All this, and in return he asked for only a small amount of chocolate.

So, if the David cull should ever come to fruition I would argue strongly for a sanctuary or reservation be set aside for those Davids deemed worthy of preservation. Here, in safety, David Cake could ruminate on finding ways of fitting more software onto his Mac, participate in fiendish Labor plots to take over the world and listen to his Mark E Smith albums in peace. In short, if the Renaissance needed a man, David would fit the bill, no worries.

Karen McKenna

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *