Transcribed by Doug Burbidge.
The table of contents claims that this article is on page 2, but it is on a right-hand page, with two pieces of paper before it. So I call shenanigans.
Barlowe’s Guide to the SWANCON Committee
MATTHEW CLARKSON: Coordinator
First Encountered: Swancon 10
Previous convictions: Treasurer, Swancon 12
Notes: Attends Swancon committee meetings for fun. Don’t let the mild-mannered exterior fool you: remove those glasses and he becomes The Famous Cindy Evan’s other half – plus property tax of course.
ANN GRIFFITHS: Treasurer
First Encountered: Swancon 8
Notes: The Backbone of the FM’s. If she looks hot and bothered, offer her a cup of frozen peas.
DON GRIFFITHS: Programme Coordinator
First Encountered: Swancon 3
Previous convictions: Fund-raiser and General Dogsbody Swancon 5. Has volunteered to Chair Swancon 15.
Notes: Technophile, Hard SF addict and computer nut: can’t order fish and chips without trying to count the kilobytes.
GREG TURKICH: Hotel Liaison
First Encountered: Swancon 6
Previous convictions: Chairman Swancon 7; Hotel Liaison Swancon 9,10,13,14 ad infinitum.
Notes: Don’t be put off by his muscles (he doesn’t take them to parties), his sadistic way with drumsticks, or his ability to sounds like your girlfriend’s father. He’s really a pussycat: he just growls like a Kzin!
STEPHEN DEDMAN: Publicity Officer
First Encountered: Swancon 2
Previous convictions: Film co-ordinator Swancon 6, 7; Secretary Swancon 8.
Notes: RPG adventure designer, ex-dinosaur salesman, ex-manager of an sf bookshop. Don’t get strung out by the way he looks – he hasn’t bitten anybody in months! Has a regrettable fetish for puns, but it beats whips and creams.