transcribed by Anna Hepworth
being a transcription of Page 4 of progress report one (May 1983) for Swancon Icks (#9)
It is not, in fact, a foolish rumour. Swancon Nine is a reality. It will take place on the Australia Day Weekend (oh, still, my pulsating patriotic heart) of next year. Our Guest of Honour will be Harry Harrison (the letters of confirmation finally fought their way through the combined malevolence of various postal systems, and we’ve pulped the “We Lied” flyers). In fact it is all shaping up towards a great convention.
Swancons have always been known for various insantities [sic]. One recalls the massage and sleaze parties of the last, or the manic netballers of number seven, or the one-to-one Dungeons and Dragons at Swancon Six (held in a real live dungeon). Some Swancons have even born a passing resemblance to a science-fiction convention.
Swancon Nine will continue such fine, up-standing, then falling over, traditions. There will be the usual Fan Olympics, inaugurated way back when at Swancon Five, as well as early morning getting-up exercises (in the case of the committee, breaking down exercises). You see, we care about your physical well-being: the intellectual bonhomie of sparkling discussion is all very well, but it’s not very useful if you haven’t got any get up and go. So Swancon Nine looks fairly physical all-round, and in the case of the co-ordinator “all-round” is a descriptive term of some power.
Of course, being healthy isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Elsewise, filky songs will be sung and composed (but not necessarily in that order). Harry Harrison will expound and throw beer busts.* The masquerade will be–ah, spectacular? And the Great Debate. . .
So come. To Swancon Nine. Be in it. There can’t possibly be anything better to do. It’ll be great. Can you smell something burning?
Dave Luckett, Co-ordinator
* Editor’s Note: No, I don’t know what Dave means by a beer bust, either. Beer guts, yes, but beer busts. . ? If I was going to be charitable I would probably say that I have probably mis-read Dave’s handwriting. But I’m not going to be that much of a wimp.
[inset line drawn image with “air mail” at the left hand edge, a stamp towards the right hand edge, and a postmark that reads “Ye Olde Punque Palace 1602 1981”]
And Now For Something Entirely Too Cute For Anything But A Truly Icky Fanzine (namely a few quotes from the Harrison Letters):
. . . I want to get to Perth a few days earlier so my wife and I can recover from jetlag before facing the full fury of fandom. And Swan Lager.
. . . I hope you can arrange for a suite at the con hotel. Not that I need a suite, it is just a great place to throw parties–which I intend to do.
Harry Harrison, Guest of Honour