Transcribed by Doug Burbidge
(being a transcription of page 6 of Progress report 1 for Swancon Icks (#9))
Lemme tell you about the people behind the concocting of this shenanigans those in the know call Swancon Nine. A bunch of rugged individuals would be one way of putting it, if you weren’t going to be quoted on it. And all our spokespeople will assure you that dissension is not rife. How could it be with a man like Dave Luckett at the helm, ruling with an iron fist and a rubber kneecap. But let’s do this properly:
Continuing a long tradition of semi-comatose Chairthings, sitting in the appropriate bean bag is Co-ordinator Dave Luckett, acclaimed filker. Daves denies all and any accusations of fannishness, and does cute things like write SwanCon in defiance of a far stronger tradition than the English language. I have absolutely no idea how he wound up in this embarrassing though though influential position, and I’ll lay odds he doesn’t either.
Secretary Colleen Dye is super efficient, typos all the letters, and even takes minutes at concom meetings, which I thought was a bit radical. She rings up my mother and tells her to slap my wrist for missing meetings. Clearly a force to be reckoned with.
The man with his fingers and various other appendages in the cash-box is Warren Hughes. What more can I say about our treasurer? (All answers on the back of a postage stamp to the editorial address.) The fact that Warren has recently admitted to an interest in archery is not to be taken as an indication that this committee is working on the age-old principle of taking from the rich and keeping it all for ourselves.
Suave, sophisticated, and other ‘s’ words are all used under duress when describing our official Programmer, Ian Nichols, who is best remembered as the man you can’t forget. Seriously, though, if Ian will remove that boot from the back of my throat, Ian is fully experienced in the art of bashing a program together. Remember Swancon five?
And then there is moi, sweet me. Say no more. You can all pay to read the book at some later date. But in this cute beret, jungle greens, macho revolutionary stance and four day growth? Head of Agit Prop, of course.
Almost, but not quite, on the committee are Sally Beasley, playing Devil’s Advocate (I think) as Assistant Programmer, and Greg Turkich who liases with hotels (but cleans up the mess afterwards). And there you have it.
[image at bottom of page: a stone-age person turns the crank on a giant stone-age duplicator in a desert]